Discipleship – PJ's Monday Musings

Monday Musings: 3 everyday action steps you can take to kill the sin in you

(NOTE: This is a follow-up post to last week’s Monday Musings: the urgency we need in 2020.)

The urgency is real…

If you are not pursuing God every day, you are pursuing death.

So, every day becomes an opportunity for you to say…the old me is gone, and the new me is here.

Every day is an opportunity for you to live with the kind of urgency that seeks to kill the sin inside of you and become who you are in Christ.

Okay, so if you’re like me, you’re probably wondering…

WHAT DO I DO NEXT?

If you are feeling that sense of urgency in your heart that something needs to change when it comes to your everyday sins…

If you’re beginning to understand the gravity of your sin…and how much love that it took for God to send His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, down to this earth, to die for you.

If you’re feeling that kind of urgency right now, and you don’t know what to do with it, let me give you three action steps that you can take today and repeat every day…

Action step one: Confess your sin to God…own it and then repent and turn away from it. (1 John 1:8-9)

Action step two: Tell someone about it…don’t try to beat your everyday sins alone. It doesn’t work. (James 5:16)

Action step three: Cut off the lines of supply to whatever sin you’re struggling with…it’s better to not have to face the temptation to begin with than it is to continually be faced with having to fight it. (Hebrews 12:1)

And, in all of these things, remember this truth written by Paul in Romans 8…

“So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.”

May God give you the will and the strength and the courage to do what you need to do today.

Monday Musings: stuck in a rut or in a groove?

Rut or groove?

It’s hard to tell the difference between the two at some levels.

But, when you dig a little deeper, you find out just how different they really are.

I mean…would you rather feel like you’re stuck in a rut or in a groove?

Exactly…

You don’t want to be stuck in a rut.

A “rut” by definition is “a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change.”

The truth is we can get stuck in all sorts of ruts…in our relationships, our careers, and yes, even our faith (more on that later).

We’d much rather be in a groove when it comes to all of these things. But, the interesting thing is that a “groove” is not that much different than a “rut” (at least by definition).

A “groove” is simply defined as “an established routine or habit.”

So, what does this have to do with our faith?

When it comes to our faith, it’s easy to go back and forth between a rut and a groove. We can be stuck in a rut for days or weeks (or even years) at a time. But, we can also get in a groove…and that’s a pretty sweet place to be.

You might be stuck in a “faith rut” if deep down your relationship with God has become dull and unproductive.

On the surface, you might be “doing all the right religious things” (going to church, reading your Bible, etc.), but your faith is stagnant.

Your spiritual life is not producing any fruit (in your life or anyone else’s).

You’re going through the motions.

Or spinning your wheels.

Or shadowboxing.

If that’s how you’re feeling right now, I have good news for you…

You don’t have to stay stuck in that spiritual rut you’re in.

You can get in a spiritual groove…you just gotta get your heart right.

The Bible is full of examples of God’s people doing religious things while their hearts are far from Him (see Isaiah 29:13 for one example).

So, how do you move from a place of spiritual dullness to a place of life-giving, spiritual fruitfulness?

I’m not going to give you a simple formula or a 5-step process for that…because it might just turn into another rut for you.

But, I will say this…

If you find yourself stuck in a spiritual rut right now, the only way that you’re going to get out of it is if you really want to.

As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27…

²⁴Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! ²⁵All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. ²⁶So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. ²⁷I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

This spiritual race that you’re in is life-long, and it’s full of ruts and grooves.

So, run to win…with purpose in every step.

Get yourself in a good, spiritual groove…

And stop shadowboxing.

Thanksgiving…holiday or habit?

I love Thanksgiving…

I love the food.

I love the family and friends.

I love the football.

I love it all.

(In fact, it may even be my favorite holiday, because I just love that combination of food, family & friends, and football all in one day.)

But, it’s just one day.

Imagine if we were only thankful one day a year.

Maybe that sounds crazy, but how often do we actually celebrate what we’re thankful for the other 364 days of the year?

Is thanksgiving more of a holiday or a habit for you?

Is it something that you celebrate every day or only on special occasions?

Do you need a reason to be thankful every day or do you choose to be thankful even on your worst of days?

Are you teaching and modeling every day thanksgiving to those around you, or do they see you living in a perpetual cycle of discontent?

Thanksgiving isn’t just a once-a-year holiday.

It’s an every day choice.

And, when we choose to be thankful every day, those choices turn into a habit.

Don’t let Thanksgiving be just a holiday for you this year. Let it become a habit that you celebrate every day.

Let it become a habit that keeps pointing you (and those who are watching you) to Jesus.

Let it become such a part of our every day lives that the generations that follow us think less of thanksgiving as a holiday and more as a way of life.

¹I will exalt you, my God and King,
    and praise your name forever and ever.
²I will praise you every day;
    yes, I will praise you forever.
³Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise!
    No one can measure his greatness.

⁴Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts;

(Psalm 145:1-4)

¹⁶Always be joyful. ¹⁷Never stop praying. ¹⁸Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

(1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

The kids are watching you… always watching

Anyone who has seen the movie Monster’s Inc. knows the classic line spoken by Roz to Mike Wazowski…

“I’m watching you, Wazowski! Always watching…”

Mike doesn’t really like to hear that, because you get the impression from Roz’s character that she really is watching him ALL THE TIME.

And there’s some pressure and responsibility that go along with that. There’s a lot at stake for Mike knowing that Roz is always watching.

If you are a parent or youth worker, you have little “Rozs” watching you ALL THE TIME.

And, just like with Mike, there’s a lot at stake (for them and for you).

Because the kids are watching you to see what following Jesus really looks like in a Christian culture that makes a lot of things gray.

And, what we make gray today will only get grayer for the next generation.

Here’s what I mean…

Parents (and youth workers) remember… your kids are watching you, always watching.

And, the decisions you make about things like church, entertainment, alcohol, and social media are going to have an impact on your kids whether you realize it or not.

If church attendance/participation is optional or sporadic in your family now, your kids will take it another degree or two further, and will find more excuses/reasons not to go when they are older.

If your entertainment choices are dictated more by what the culture thinks is a “good” movie or album to listen to (and less about what the Bible says is “good”), where do you think your kids will look for what is “good” when they have more freedom to make those choices?

If your approach to alcohol is casual, don’t assume that your kids will know what “casual” means or that they will have the same ability/desire to make alcohol just another element of their social lives when they get older.

If social media is a place where you vent, rant, overshare, misrepresent yourself, or spend too much time on, know that your kids are taking cues from you on things like: where their value and identity comes from, how to communicate, and how to deal with conflict (not to mention how to manage their time).

The truth is our kids will generally take the things they see in us and take them one or two (or even three) degrees further.

The gray only gets more gray…not less.

And, believe me, they are watching you.

Always watching.

Failing is an earth thing…and why that should give you hope

We all want hope.

We all want a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

And so we go searching for it…

We go to work hoping that we’ll like our jobs and make enough money to be comfortable.

We go to school hoping that someday all those classes will lead to a job that we’ll like and make us enough money to be comfortable.

We play sports hoping that someday we’ll get paid to play a sport we love and make us more than enough money to be comfortable.

We make friends hoping that someday we’ll find the one that we’ll spend the rest of our comfortable lives with on this earth.

But, then things go sideways.

We don’t like our jobs, or we can never seem to make enough money.

We don’t like school.

We love the sports we play, but our bodies fail us.

And, we just can’t seem to find the one.

Deep down, we ask ourselves, where can I find hope?

Because failing seems to be a big part of this world that we live in.

But, here’s where it actually gets better.

Yes, failing is an earth thing. Failing is part of living in a broken world.

But God is not of this world.

And, because God is not of this world, He doesn’t fail. (Hebrews 13:5)

We live in a world where people are searching for hope in places that ultimately fail them…work, education, money, relationships, and the list goes on.

The good news is that real, lasting, get-out-of-bed-everyday hope doesn’t fail…and it’s found in a personal relationship with God.

This is the hope we all want.

This is the hope this failing world needs.

This is really good news.

The question is…are you ready to share it?

If someone asks you today what is it about believing in Jesus that gives you hope, what would you say?

“I will never forget this awful time…
²¹Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:

²²The faithful love of the Lord never ends!^[b]
    His mercies never cease.
²³Great is his faithfulness;
    his mercies begin afresh each morning.
²⁴I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
    therefore, I will hope in him!” (Lamentations 3:20-24)

“…if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it.” (1 Peter 3:15b)

Why we need to be warm

As I write this, it’s a beautiful fall Monday morning here in the PNW…

Actually, it’s a beautiful, chilly fall Monday morning.

It’s one of those mornings where you wake up and everything’s covered with a layer of frost…like God saran wrapped His creation overnight with a breath of cold air.

The chilliness of the morning reminds me how much I value warmth. I like to be warm (not hot!). I like to be warm so much that when I’m cold, I’ll figure out a way to get warm again.

Warmth is inviting.

It’s something that embraces me and changes the state I’m in.

Warmth is attractive.

It accepts me when I’m cold, but it doesn’t leave me chilly.

The value of warmth though is not limited to things like body temperature. Turns out that relational warmth is important too…especially in our homes and churches.

In fact, when it comes to our kids’ faith development, family and church warmth are both key factors to their spiritual growth.

So, what does this kind of warmth look like?

A recent study describes a warm family as one where a child perceives a close relationship with one or usually both parents.*

And one of the major conclusions of this study was that kids are more likely to embrace the faith of their parents in a warm family than in a cold one.

Kids who feel relationally close to their parents tend to follow after their parents in lots of ways (including faith). On the other hand, kids who feel relationally distant, tend to walk away.

In other words, the culture that we create at home has a huge impact on the faith that is being created in our kids.

The same is true of course with our churches. Warm churches create a culture where faith grows. Whereas, cold churches create a culture where religion grows (and faith tends to die).

So, how do we create a culture of warmth in our homes and churches?

Go to God first.

God is a relational God. And, He has invited you into a warm relationship with Him. So, it only makes sense to start by praying, and asking Him for wisdom and grace as you seek to create a culture of warmth.

Go to your kids second and ask them this question…

“If you could change anything about our relationship, what would it be?” In other words, go ask your kids what would warm up your relationship with them and hear what they have to say.**

(In a church context, you might talk with your leaders about the value of building a culture of warmth in your church and then ask this question: how can we become a warm church where relationally hungry people can gather and grow and “be warm” together, and then go out and “be warm” in their communities?)

Then, do something to create warmth…

Ideas for families:

create a family group chat and use it to share things like a verse of the day or things you see or do during the day.
plan a family vacation or activity together.
pray together as everyone leaves in the morning for school/work.
put your phones away at mealtimes or when doing something all together (like playing games or watching TV).

Ideas for churches & youth groups:

create space in your services for people to share a story from their week that fits with whatever the message is that day.
plan fun activities at least once a quarter.
pray together (this is one way that you can “rejoice with those who rejoice…and mourn with those who mourn” together)
eat together.

Finally, don’t be discouraged if you find that your home or church is chillier than it should be. Creating a culture of warmth in those places may not happen overnight, but its impact in shaping people’s faith has the potential to change the state of our culture both now and in the future.

*From the 2013 study, Families and Faith: How Religion is Passed Down across Generations.

**For more ideas and insights on creating a culture of warmth in your family, check out the book Growing With: Every Parent’s Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in their Faith, Family, and Future by Kara Powell and Steven Argue (especially chapter 3).

Are we raising disciples or dropouts?

Trends and fads come and go.

Whether you rocked a mullet in the 80’s…

Wore MC Hammer pants in the 90’s…

Played THE GAME and lost in the early 2000’s, or…

Jumped on the fidget spinner bandwagon a couple years ago…

You know what I mean.

Some trends last longer than others and end up shaping our culture for generations. And, these are the trends that we must pay attention to.

Since I started working in full-time ministry back in 2000, one of these trends has been the prevalence of church dropouts among young adults (18-29 years old).

In that time, I’ve been skeptical of the alarmist claims (80% dropout rate), but I’ve also been paying attention to the data that’s out there and the trends that inform them.*

Back in 2011, the Barna Group reported that 59% of young adults with a Christian background had dropped out of church involvement-some for an extended period of time, some for good.

Less than a decade later, that number has increased to 64%.

In other words, the trend of church dropouts among young adults is moving in the wrong direction.

As parents and youth workers, we need to not only be paying attention to this trend, but we also need to be asking ourselves this question:

Are we raising disciples or dropouts?

Asking this question should lead us to another question, and that is…what’s a disciple?

A disciple is a follower of Jesus.

A follower of Jesus lives like Jesus…

AND leads others to follow Jesus.

Numbers Don’t Lie: Rethinking how we measure success in youth ministry

I grew up a Blazers’ fan.

I lived in Portland, and I loved basketball, so it made sense that I would root for the hometown team.

One of my favorite players growing up was a guy named Rasheed Wallace. The dude was not a role model by any means, but he could play some serious ball.

Rasheed was a trash-talker too. One of my favorite lines he’d say a lot to opponents was, “Ball don’t lie!” If a guy missed a free throw, Rasheed would say, “Ball don’t lie!” just to mess with him and get in his head.

If you’re in ministry, I want to mess with you and get in your head for a minute.

I want to say to you, “Numbers don’t lie.”

But, the numbers I’m talking about are not the numbers we tend to measure. We like to measure how many students showed up at youth group, how many of them went on the mission trip last summer, how many of them have been baptized…I think you get the point.

I’ve heard it said before that ministries determine success by what they measure. It’s not rocket science I know, but generally we find fulfillment and success in the things that we think should count.

So, we count bodies. As in, “We had 50 bodies show up at youth group last night!” It sounds demeaning when you say it that way, but that’s how a lot of us measure success in ministry.

But, what if 25 of those 50 bodies walked out the doors of your ministry and walked away from God? Would you really feel like a success then? Could you really pat yourself on the back knowing that half the students you see on a typical youth group night end up being spiritual corpses?

I’ll admit that it’s easy to focus on what we can count easily. But, we need to stop counting bodies and start counting souls instead. We need to consider different ways to measure success in ministry.

In his book “You Lost Me: Why Young Christians are Leaving Church and Rethinking Faith,” David Kinnaman writes, “What would it look like to begin measuring things like teens’ and young adults’ knowledge of and love for Scripture, their clarity about their gifts and vocation, their willingness to listen to the voice of God and follow His direction, the fruits of the Spirit in their lives, and the depth and quality of their love and service to others?”

What would that look like? That question has been stirring in my head for a long time now. It’s made me ask some tough questions about ministry and what really is a “successful” church or youth group in God’s eyes. How would He measure success? What numbers would He count?

The fact is I think He’d look below the surface at what’s really going on in a person’s heart. And, He’d say the same thing to us as He said to Samuel right before he anointed a shepherd boy as the next king of Israel. “The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (I Samuel 16:7)

Ministry is and always will be about numbers, because numbers represent people. And, people have souls. But, at a time in our culture when young people are walking away from their faith in increasing numbers, we need to reconsider the way we measure success in ministry.

“Numbers don’t lie.” What are your numbers telling you?

Forced Christian: Why Church Kids Walk Away From Church

I was a church kid.

I was born into a Christian home.

I grew up going to church like clockwork every Sunday.

I did church things…went to Sunday school, memorized Bible verses, and volunteered to help out around the church.

I checked off boxes and jumped through hoops.

I followed the Christian list of do’s and dont’s.

I was a forced Christian.

Fast-forward to 2014…

I still live in a Christian home.

I still go to church like clockwork every Sunday.

I still do church things.

I still wrestle with the boxes to check off and the hoops to jump through.

But, I am a Jesus follower.

I am also a 40-year old youth pastor who has been working with church kids for a long time now.

And, a lot of the students I work with remind me of me.

Forced Christian.

I’ve been around long enough to hear the numbers. All the surveys and studies out there that tell us that anywhere from 40-80% of students walk away from their faith after high school. The numbers are alarming…but not for the reasons you might think.

We tend to measure stuff that we can see.

So, we track stuff like how many times a kid shows up at church or youth group.

We pat ourselves on the back when we fill our youth rooms with students “on fire” for God.

We pile them into church vans and buses and take them on mission trips.

We put them on youth worship teams.

We encourage them to “get involved” and “plugged in” with the church.

We give them verses to memorize and Bible studies to read.

We train them to share their faith story with their peers.

In other words, we make the lists and the boxes they check off and the hoops they jump through.

And, then we wonder why they walk away.

A wise man once said, “Don’t judge by appearance…the Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (I Samuel 16:7)

God doesn’t measure stuff we can see.

He is not a God of lists and boxes and hoops.

He never has been.

The Gospels are full of encounters Jesus had with the religious leaders of his day who measured spirituality with lists and boxes and hoops. And, Jesus had this to say about them…”Everything they do is for show.” (Matthew 23:5)

Thousands of years later, we’ve gotten pretty good at putting on a show.

Our youth groups are full of church kids who put on a show every Sunday, but haven’t ever gotten past the lists and boxes and hoops. We might think they’re Jesus followers, but in reality, many of them are nothing more than forced Christians.

They are born in Christian homes.

They go to church most Sundays.

They do church things.

They follow the rules we’ve set, but they don’t have a personal relationship with God.

And, so they graduate from high school and leave the church.

Why?

Because we taught them that it’s more important to show up once a week than it is to submit their lives to God every day of the week.

Because we taught them that praying a prayer is all it takes.

Because we taught them that complying to the rules of the church is better than conforming to the image of Christ.

Because we taught them that Christianity is more about the things you can and can’t do and less about having a personal relationship with the only One who can promise you true freedom and a “full life.” (John 10:10)

The bottom line question is this…

Are students really leaving the church (and everything it stands for & believes in), or are they simply escaping from a way of life they never truly embraced in the first place?